I know now, the thoughts, emotions and moments,

when I would really hurl my fists and swing my legs at someone else.

It is when the P******* is disturbed by someone else.

My patience is under challenge.

lost? confused?

i don't know. i guess i know how you felt back then.

i hope you have faith in us, the way i do.

please give me a pull when i'm slipping away, the way i do.

your trust and faith is all i need.

i will do my very best to be a better person.

i will outdo myself and him.

this is my promise to you, little ones.

it is fresh. and it seems to take up some space, or expand to exert pressure.

fear. and conscience.

morality. responsibility.

fresh fear and conscience is expanding.

make a change or be devoured.

亲爱的，对不起。

roller-coaster

it hurts

nearly killed me throughout the night

or rather i wished someone would do so

so that i could get off the emotional roller-coaster

sometimes

i ponder why didn't it take me instead of him

sometimes

i know the reasons why

well

ain't no human is perfect

what more a half like me?

i ain't blaming you

just that the ride took me to various spots

fear, worry, frustration, disappointment, hope and anger

till it became a cycle throughout the night

it was cracked several times before

and again tonight

i understand my limits now

and i know you do too

remember our promises

Love,

B

i guess i'm standing between you and your dreams.

i'm sorry for doing so, obstructing you from time to time.

one life, one shot

i hate this feeling, mindset, body, indiscipline.

i hate this lack of rationality, logic, emotion, trust.

well.

i did wrong.

therefore, i have to pay the price of having t0 find my footing, a solid and appropriate one, in the midst of my own confusion and lack of direction.

falling down is easy. getting back up is where the severity of the consequences begin to dawn on you.

mister, don't give yourself a chance to hide anymore.

you have to urge yourself to come out of your shell and learn to live again.

you ain't living now, not to the extremum that you could.

you got only one live, one shot. don't waste it.